Management Lessons With Humor

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
inally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Depreciating Assets

New York Before Orlando Weekend

When I came downstairs to get the train at 4:30am on my way to JFK to fly to Orlando I was pleasantly surprised to see the entire street covered in snow and it was absolutely beautiful. Being me, I whipped out my camera and began taking pics to record the moment that was the most beautiful our street has ever been. This is what it it looked like.
It was a bit sad leaving the snow and the possibility of walking through Central Park when it was ccovered with snow but I was going to sunshine and warmth for three days so I got over it very easily. The weekend was as much fun as one can imagine and Disneyworld and Universal Studios has the be the funnest place that I never planned to be at in 2008. Look our for pictures (some of the 400 I took will find themselves on here) and updates on all the fun. No promises though since my semester is getting busier by the day.

Trinidad # 8 Some Friends 1

With five weeks on my hand in Trinidad someone actually asked what I planned to do the whole time. If it were up to me, I would have spent every day at the beach or hiking or visiting some nature reserves, most of which I did not get around to doing but I did manage to visit some friends.

This one in particular includes a whole family. Babina, (affectionately known as Reds) and I became friends after the death of a neighbour when my church spent some time with the bereaved family. She has two sons who were very young and I became a big brother to them and a friend of the family.

I have many pleasant memories visiting their home where we would sit and chat for hours, sometimes until the "wee" hours of the morning about everything under the sun. Reds always had questions, many of them relating to the bible and church and we would go back and forth discussing everything that was on her mind.

At some point in time, my friend Pamela and I held classes in the family house for kids living close by, including Red's kids. We had many good days with he kids there (and some frustrating ones as well) but it was a good experience for both Pam and myself in community work, something both of us do till today.

These pictures are of my visit to their home and shows Reds, my mom and myself. Another shows her youngest son Roland and his gf on another night. (Reds is of Amerindian descent and the hair is real)

Trinidad # 7: Nature's Bounty

One of the great things about living on a tropical island is the amount of fruit trees to be found and where I grew up in Las Lomas is no exception. In fact, there were many days when fruits trees in the village like mangoes and cashews and coconuts were a major part of our diet to make up for the shortage of food in our home.

One of my favorite things things to do during the mango season was to climb one of the trees around our house with a knife in my back pocket, find a comfortable spot among the branches, pick a few ripe mangoes and have a nice relaxing time on the tree eating them. These particular mangoes I am refering too are quite large so the most I was able to eat in one go was two...the good old days.

On my recent trip home I visited some friends and was in that mode again beacuse the trees were laden with all manner of fruits. Needless to say, we had a good time picking and eating and for me, I enjoyed being in the outdoors again, climbing trees like I used to a a little boy running free in the village.

Trinidad # 6: My Long Lost Nephew

This may sound odd but it really did happen to our family years ago and I am glad I had the opportunity and the means to remedy it.

One of my two older brothers, Anand (or Chillout as he is affectionately know) was married manyyears ago but was seperated from his wife not too long after. By this time they had a son and my estimate is that he was about 6-8 months old at the time of his parents' seperation.

Sadly enough, due to circumstances beyond our control, my family, including never saw the child again. Shocking I know but there were factors at work and we let it go and next thing you know, 20 years had passed and we did not know our nephew and he (still)does not know his father or relatives on his father side of the family.

On my trip home, a cousin of mine offered to take me and my mother to thier house and so we went to visit. In Trinidad, you don't have to call (not that we had a number to call) and announce your arrival, you can just show up and thats exactly what we did. When we arrived, I was nervous because his mother had made some statements in the past letting us know in no uncertain terms that we should stay away from "her" son but thank God, He was the only one at home when we got there.

When he came out of the house and I confirmed that he is indeed Denish Maharaj, I pointed my mother and said this is your grandmother and I am your uncle and my name is Lloyd. he stook there in shock but smiling at the same time.

He finally caught himself and let us in and we had a good chat before his family showed up (that is another chapter that I will not go into)Turns out Denish will be 21 in May 2008 and he works as a salesman for a large wholesale company.

It was shocking to see that Denish is the spitting image of his father: they had the same smile, laughed in the same manner and even talked in the same soft tone. That one day made my trip worthwhile and I hope in the years to come, Denesh will get to know his "lost" relatives and more importantly, his father.

The pictures show Denish, my mother, and of course, your's truly.

My Salzburg Blog

As part of The Salzburg Seminar delegation, all students are asked to do a blog of the entire experience so being the good student that I am, I did and here is the link to it.
Be sure to check it out and follow along in what promises to be an amazing journey.

http://llminnyc.blogspot.com/

I am going to Austria!

After months (well two months really) off waiting for a reply from The Salzburg Scholarship Selection Committe, I found about five voicemails waiting for me when I returned for me when I got back to New York from Trinidad. In a matter of minutes I had spoken to the persons in charge and made an appointment to be interviewed.

The day finally came and I met with the group for 45 mins but I still had to wait for a week for an answer. Finally it came and I was told I will be going to Austria with fourteen other BMCC students and at least one of them is a friend of mine.

This is so exciting and I can't wait to stay in the castle that was used as the residence In "The sound of Music." One week in Salzburg during Spring Break!

Anyway, stay tuned and I will do a post on exactly what I will be doing there.

Giants Win! Giants Mania in New York!

It was my first Superbowl and it was fun, not that I am a football fan or anything but I do admire hard work and perseverance in any form...and besides I like sports.

It was interesting watching the game and being told what they were trying to do and so forth and so on, but the main thing is that New York won and I am glad for that because I live here now.

A few days after the win, the team was paraded though the streets of NY, where they were eventually given "The Keys to the City.' I tried to catch the parade with my friend Elsie, but all we got was hoards of Giants fans and the most police officers I have ever seen in any one day. My class schedule did not help either. Here are some of the pictures I took at the top of Chambers Street, which happens to be the street my school is on.

Go Giants!

Trinidad # 5 My Babies

One of the things I missed most when I left Trinidad was my dogs, all four of them. I spent a signigicant amount of time with Chivas (the mother)Dougla, Frosty and Rebel. Here they are...and I still miss them.
As we all know, being around pets can be very relaxing and most mornings I would go to the back of the house and play with them. Sometimes at night when I got home I would do the same and we would all have a nice chat in the cool night.

Trinidad # 4 Sun, sand and sea

It must be a good sign to begin the year at my favorite beach in Trinidad, Maracas Beach. Turns out some friends of my brother stopped by his house on New Year's day and upon hearing that I was home on vacation, called me up and next thing you know, we were all on the merry road to Maracas Beach.

The weather was great, the company was fun and even though the time was short we all had a great time.

One Week Down...

...and counting.

Its the end of the first week of classes but I feel as if I have been at it for weeks or even months. Not a good sign I am sure but I am hoping that over the weekend I can get myself together and get on with it.

For some strange reason I have not been able to adjust and get back into the swing of things here in NY and I want to balme it on too much sun, too much home-cooked meals and definitely too much fun over the previous five weeks.

For those of you who don't know, this is my fourth semester and I will be graduating this Spring and transfering to a four year college to complete my degree. Its decided and I will do my under grad in Social Work at either York College in Queens or Lehman College in the Bronx. These are the only two CUNY (City University of New York) that has a BSW. Hopefully I can do my MSW at Columbia and if not Hunter College will be fine.

Time for me to start my weekend...

Quote of the Month

I just came across this quote in a newsletter from an organization called Hope For New York and thought I'd share it. Think about it.


"I've seen and met angels wearing the disguise of ordinary people living ordinary lives."

Tracy Chapman